This all started about 12 or 13 years ago...
A rainy wednesday, close to 1 am or so...
I was falling for this girl who seemed to have the same eclectic musical tastes that I had and we were fast becoming friends because we would see each other and spend the entire evening chatting away like crazy.
Anyway as I was saying, the rain was coming down pretty hard and she was about to go home so I decided to walk her to her car. Well, I decided to go ahead and kiss her...I grabbed her face and planted a deep passionate one right there on her lips while we became drenched. She just looked at me with astonishment and fumbled to get in her car.
"I have to go home," was all she said. Now, my mind went into a million different directions and most of them thought of the negative since she wasn't reciprocating the gesture but I should've thought that maybe, just maybe she was only in shock and it wasn't that she was off put by the moment. 
As I made my way home my brain worked overtime trying to rationalize what I had just done...did I make a "good" move or did I just build a barrier between the two of us?
I got home. Went to my room and there was a message waiting for me...from you know who. She proceeded to tell me that she still reeling from the kiss...as she put it, "it was a magical moment,"  that she only had seen in the movies and never thought that she'd have a kiss like that. 
To be honest I wasn't trying to be creative with the moment I just needed to tell her how I felt and words often get misconstrued so I figured a kiss would get the point across perfectly. The pouring down rain only adding to the over-all moment giving it that perfect touch that to this day has a place in both of our hearts.

So now we fast-forward to the present where we have a problem where this girl and I cross paths just as she is seperating from her husband. She finds me on MySpace and we start chatting again. The kiss is recalled and in her eyes she sees the reunion of our beings as being a soulmate moment. Now I want to believe in the notion of a soulmate but I think she's trying to recapture a moment in time that has long passed. I think it is too soon for her to begin thoughts of dating let alone proclaiming that we are "meant" for one another. Don't get me wrong, I still have feelings for this girl but it's too soon and I'm afraid that she'll soon discover that there's a whole world for her to discover and if she's in a relationship with me from the get go I don't want to be the reason she feels tied down from being free to explore. I mean I want her to come to me on her own accord and not just because she's lonely at that exact moment in time.
I'm a romantic at heart and I want nothing more than to be in love with someone but I'd like to share in her likes and dislikes just as she does in mine. I want to be able to imagine her smile when I'm feeling down. I want to share in her joys as well as be there for her when she has a bad day just to let her know that someone does care.
A deep passionate kiss underneath the falling rain of spring does conjure a "perfect" moment for two to share but the two need to have more between them...

 You do it to yourself

you do

and that's why it really hurts

   you do it to yourself

   just you

   you and no one else.

I promise...I'll find something to say here soon. I swear!

I love the fact that when someone's feeling down

and out about something there's ALWAYS someone

who'll tell you, "Thing's will get better."

And, has anyone ever noticed that the people who

spout this little nugget of positivity are usually

nowhere near being depressed or down 

and out?

FUCK THEM!!!

A picture says it all...at least a thousand words each...

The world is right again...

WHITE STRIPES
ARE ON 
CONAN O'BREIN
LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THIS GOOD
ON A MONDAY
BEFORE!

I truly believe that my soul is sinking into
an abyss that no one will EVER be able to
retrieve me from...
I have often made fun of people being in love
but deep in my heart I know it is the one thing
that ALL of us need to truly feel complete.
At times I imagine a life with nothing but 
unequaled passion and then my mind comes back to it's 
senses and reminds me of how much that is
NOT THE CASE!